By Esther Cohen

The ushering of a New Year is often characterised by self-examination and reflection on the past, leading to optimistic decisions towards the future.

The Jewish New Year puts particular emphasis on contemplating and recognizing our achievements and mistakes in relation to ourselves, others and the Almighty. Celebrating our accomplishments and acknowledging our short comings help us build a realistic picture of our holistic self which should encourage self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-love.

In my 20 years as a counsellor, I have had the merit of being allowed to tiptoe into and around people’s lives, noticing the wealth of goodness that pumps through their veins, sometimes almost overshadowed by trauma, confusion and pain. Often there are discrepancies in the way individuals perceive and judge themselves whilst accepting the same characteristics and mistakes in others.

There are also those who only identify the shortcomings of others but find it too frightening to admit to similar failings and limitations within themselves.

When the day of Yom Kippur arrives, a day of clemency and making amends, many will be quick to forgive others and beg G-d for forgiveness. Yet, they find it nearly impossible to forgive themselves and let go of self-recrimination. They embrace every word said by their harsh inner critic who keep them hostage to shame.

We all make mistakes and experience failure in the great ‘school of life’. THAT IS LIFE as G-d created it. Each year we get a chance to wipe the slate clean, to shed the load and only take with us the lessons learned that will help us step up towards the blessings and a happy future.

Kadimah Counselling wishes you a Shana Tova U’Metuka – a year of great physical and emotional health surrounded by boundless joy, peace, self-appreciation and appreciation of the good around us.