Why Self-Doubt?

By Esther Cohen

Oh, that troublesome and often stressful inner critic that fills our minds with self-doubts about our capabilities, choices and how we do things! The inner critic sounds so reasonable and so convincing as it questions our motives and abilities to achieve, pointing out all the flaws, imaginary or real, in whatever we do.

We live in a society where strong emphasis is placed on performance and achievement, where ‘doing’ is valued that much higher than ‘being’.

School exams, SATs, GCSEs, A Levels, work appraisals, performance management and inspections of all sorts, come to grade what we do and how well we do it. We are surrounded by well-meaning (and sometimes not so well-meaning) ‘constructive criticism’ that can cause us to re-evaluate who we are, based on what we achieve.

Yet, we are unique beings with unique souls and missions, with different aptitudes and abilities. How can we be expected to fit in nicely in a standard graded box, that prioritises performance over the holistic person we are?

Don’t take me wrong. Accountability is key to success, but when systems take over and accountability dehumanises and ignores the human being behind it, it destroys that which should be nurtured.

Many internalise their performance valuation as an indicator of their worth. They embrace criticism as a barometer for self-judgement and the determinator of self-worth. Their self-perception is informed by others’ views, which are biased by results and comparisons and reinforced by the inner critic.

And so, the impostor syndrome is born!!

Impostor syndrome is very common especially on capable, we are ALL capable, and high-performing humans who doubt themselves and their abilities, hence feeling like a fraud.

YET, while we are busy doubting ourselves, someone else is admiring our strengths.

We are all inspirational creatures. We fight fights that no one knows. We fall and we pick ourselves up and shake off the dust. We move forward.

You can be sure there is someone out there to whom you are an inspiration. They look up to you and learn from you. They see that part of you that resonates with them. They see your courage, your vulnerability, and your hidden strengths, and for that, they admire you.  

You, this complex and beautiful human being who juggles life, manage challenges the best way possible given the circumstances and hangs on for dear life with resilience during troubled times.

You are real.

You are human.

For that alone you are worthy of admiration.